I do not like being a ministry. absolutely.detest.it. No offence to anyone that is ministering to anyone. In fact, what I actually meant here is the face value ministry. Those that when the "minister" will only act in certain way or talk in certain way to the "ministr-ie" in certain places/ situations/ circumstance. It turns me off.
Starting in Australia as a student was not easy for many such as me. I remember those days where I had such a tight budge that amazes the very few people who knew on how I survived. Someone even once told me that I was being unrealistic, that no one can live on that amount of money and still be able to....well.... live. I didn't bother explaining, to him it is impossible, to me that was it. IT. If I don't survive, I will not survive. I am a survivor. I have survived in the couple of tough circumstances in my limited past two and a half decades. I thrive on surviving these people/ situations to the point that I am proud that I survived them. Anyhow, being such as frugal person that I was (maybe still is, considering how I could not bring myself to buy a 40 bucks work dress just now despite desperately needing to change my overall appearance seeing that I have been acting on some senior role now) and also being such a proud person that I am, me being ministered in such a way I explained above, just does not go well with me. In fact, I will feel being underestimated or to some extent, insulted.
It may not be such a good trait, I admit. However, I do not think that someone talking nice to me and yet, totally unable to just be a friend to me only, is
nice. Not to this girl. Many would agree with me that one of the reason why many stop going to church/ organisations/ groups/
(insert any type of gatherings) is because the same people that appear to be so interested in them that one time that they went, act as if they were strangers when they meet again down the road at the shops or even coffee house. That is what I call
pretense. If I ask help from someone, he/she would be my friend. I don't go around asking help from people that are just associates to me.
Therefore, I avoid these type of "ministering". I don't want to act as if we are good friends, if we are not. I will not seek help from you, if I am just a ministry. Friendships are not base on ministry, not in my world. As a result of this, I often avoid making the frist step to be recognised or befriended with "those that are standing in front speaking through the microphone". To an extent, I probably will talk to anyone that is just sitting there listening, and get to know them, but not those standing in front. I am just proud like that.
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